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Monday, December 31, 2007

:) finally, christmas pictures.
current mood: blank

just let the pictures do the talking this time? :)
i look FAT in most pics. nevertheless, enjoy.
pease double click to view clearly. thank you. HAHA


my favourite at orchard. :)
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

&Santa sent his babies out for chistmas. :)
OH, we make the best team!

roaming around.
&we made American's Next Top Model look BAD!

HYATT with them.
we sat, talked and forgot about the pain. :)
& i LOVE them all.

a long night walk, stupid intimate chat, &GAMES.
OH, i love every fregging moment. :)

OH you, MISTER ANNOYING FAIEZ, don't act PIMP! :)

he, who wants me to be his. HAHA! :)
&i look annoyingly fugly.

he who says "shoure" and "bhall" instead of "sure" and "ball".
the OH-so-annoying-one who was the company for the day.

nevertheless, this is my BIG THANK YOU to DEAREST MISTER FAIEZ. :)
we will meet next chirstmas maybe?
.
from afternoon, to evening, to late night. it was my christmas. OH, i love it.
dear world, thank you for that one brilliant night. my christmas was special. encore please. :)

&finally, maybe it's time to go now. i want to stay, but i know i am not needed anymore. this hurts much more than you think it does. 2008 will bring us to a new chapter. i am sorry.
this is my last day in 2007. :)

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 12:00 AM

Sunday, December 30, 2007

:) leave me&go away.
current mood: depressed

tonight, i will cuddle up with my fudgie, silently snuffling under my sheets. it's been a long time since i had time for myself under the sheets. i am NOT doing good. i am NOT doing fine. Oh, go away stupid feeling!
God, save me from this insanity. i am a just meaningless soul. now, i just feel like a child crying because she lost her favourite toy. Oh, go away everyone. this is my rants in the wee hours. if you hate it, LEAVE now. every part of me hurts. even those tiny places, where i didn't know exist, is killing me. i desperately wish i am smiling now. this hurts much more than the pain when i pierce my skin. i am now engulfed in misery, drenched in disappointments and finally, blanketed with disgrace.
OH, go away pain! go away silly feeling! go away misery! go away you!
and i cry now, not because i am sad. but because i know i am stronger than this. what more? i ask now, what more?

i miss being a 5 year old. i want ice-cream and cookies. i want chocolates and sweets. i want to laugh till i shed tears of joy. joke anyone? :)

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 2:15 AM

Friday, December 28, 2007

:) depressing entry.
current mood: heart-rending

the whole world seemed to be on me yesterday afternoon. i was yelling at the top of my lungs, yet no one was listening. i tried so hard to fit in, to make the pain go away and to pretend that i was perfectly fine. Truth is, i am not. i realized that the worst person there is in the world is ME. saying sorry won't help sometimes. like now, saying sorry for my existence in life, would not help most heart breaks I've caused. it's a pity i have to be me and experience the pain I'm feeling and it's worse for the souls I've scraped. my presence in this fragile world seems unappreciated. i am still struggling to find the reason for my existence. they say enjoy life, enjoy the moments it throws to you and find the joy in everything that happens. but joy and happiness seems so far away. each time i forge a smile or cast a laughter, i am being scoff at, leaving me, alone and confused. always.
however, we are always given choices in our life. and i have chosen to devote my time to love someone from far now, please forgive me world. let me be unable to forge a smile or cast a laughter. for now, i pray that joy will come soon for both you and me. :)

God was kind to me later at night. though i ended yesterday at 2.14 AM with a jab in my right chest and an awful cramp, i enjoyed moments before it. how i desperately wished for the batteries to die, the clock to stop and time to freeze at that moment. the beach is always a nice place. followed by, the airport, where i like to dream. and finally, supper is always superb. family does matter. :)

Dear Mr Faiez, send me the pictures soon. you are annoying!
& Dear world, even if saying "i am sorry" is not enough, I am sorry.

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 3:57 PM

Thursday, December 27, 2007

:) dress up & pretend.
current mood: tired&lost

my life is at it's pause and i seem to have lost the play button. i missed my last ride home, and ever since, I've been trying to find my way back. suddenly, breathing becomes the most dreadful chore. i am truthfully tired. the cheery of this cake is that, it is the time of the month again. I'm glad 2007 is leaving me behind. Go far away. i refuse to have an encore.
Dear Life, how much longer should i pretend? I'm sorry i disappointed you. i want endless Christmas nights, because that night, my soul smiled with me. and i knew an angle was watching over me. :)

Dear Prince Charming, save me from this strange land soon? they say true Love's kiss is the most powerful thing in the world. so save me with it. :)

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 3:08 AM

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

:) sweetest addictions.
current mood: tired&blissful

imagine the thrill it sends from your throat, to your brain and finally down your spine. it touches your most sensitive part and it cures heartaches for that one moment. enjoying each moment of it's richness and flavour. the best part of it, you can have it on the go. that's why I'm an addict. i would like to thank the person who created chocolates. and i thank MacDonald's for their brilliant work on the Mudpie ice-cream. it's a must try for all chocolate addicts. :)

though i don't celebrate Christmas, i had nothing less than a wonderful time today. will update on that soon. :)
Oh, good night beautiful world.

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 1:33 AM

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

:) moments to keep.
current mood: happy

i am better off in my new life. IF i ever get one.
i will stop my temptation of clicking this particular site because i realized that it has weird effects to my distorted heart. i want happiness back again. i can tell, I'll enjoy this Christmas. & my Eve was a blast.
Happy Christmas World. :)

i know I'm a messed up girl. to that someone, I'm sorry for throwing everything out.

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 1:01 AM

Monday, December 24, 2007

:) the second post.
current mood: ecstatic

just because it's Christmas eve.
Dear Santa,
this Christmas, it'd be nice if you were true. I've been a really good girl. well, at least in the beginning of the year. grant me my wish please.
all i want for Christmas is my happiness back again. :)

I'm smiling now. at the break of dawn. awaken by your text. in cloud nine.
but i ask, will this last?

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 9:24 AM


:) the new life.
current mood: sleepy&satisfied

& i write not for you to bitch about me. but for me to laugh at myself.
so if you hate me, point the mouse to the top right corner of this page and click on the "x" button. your life would be better off that way. :)
for the rest, welcome to my second blog.

my latest update: i need a new life.

'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 3:29 AM