Saturday, March 8, 2008
:) that feeling
current mood: DOWN
Have you ever wake up in the middle of the night wondering who you are or what are you doing on the surface of this earth? Ever felt like you are obligated to make people happy but not yourself? Have you ever turn back in life and realized that you mean nothing to the people that matters most to you? How about realizing that no one will come for your wake? It's that feeling all over again.
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Here's the rant today, please don't bother asking. Because who knows, I might not be talking about you or maybe I just might be.
Here. The truth hurts as it has always. I cannot make you happy nor can I make you smile. I am not perfect nor am I important. Burden. The soothing music lingers and memories stays but nothings there to make the feeling go away. Burden. That's how I feel. When will I learn to be independent or when will I start to matter again. Burden. That's how it has always been. With you, with him and with them. When will I actually mean something?
Smile. I sat there and wet my cheeks. Sore red eyes, yet I smile so you won't see. So no one will. All I ever wanted is to make the people that matters happy. But I've failed. As always, I hate loosing but I loose a lot. At least that is how I perceive it to be.
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Love, I'll be there for you. I'll smile and be strong.
& you please don't be bothered. I just did not mean to hurt you.
And to that special someone, you are not a failure. You are my hero. You saved me from the darkness that engulfed me long before you came. You robbed me of my sadness and showered me with laughters and joy. I long for the hours when I get to see you. As you are my hero. Always.
UNO. Let's be sunshine and rainbow. I do love that & I do love you. :)
Oh, you have a good day please.
'fimaaa
❤ imperfectly written at 3:55 PM
