❤ the lunatic one & that story she once told.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

:) “We’ll wait and see” he said.
current mood: satiated

I have heard a million phrases that I hope and pray he will never utter to me. This one account he mentioned something which I yearn to share. Somehow, a single phrase managed to leave me with a deep impression that I desperately attempt to expunge.

“I KNOW one day YOU WILL leave me.” he said.

I am not disappointed nor am I angry. I know where he is coming from and I respect it. He made plans for our future and plans his next step towards that. It’s unlike him, if you know him well enough. Thus, I believe him, I trust him. He loves me, and I am positive of it.

In the conversation that was bittersweet, I made no attempt to prove to him that my love will stand every loophole. I reckon there will be obstacles in life and he looks down upon himself as if he was not strong enough. Yes, even I cannot see the future that we have imaginary planned and we talked about. But I am convinced, if there is anyone I want to go through my thick and thin with, it would be this man, this one man who never sees faith in love but manages to fall head over heels for a foolish girl like me. I can only pray that I can change his point of view. I will not promise to never leave him, but I will promise to try to be with him till our time is up.

I mean, how you reckon I have the heart to leave a guy like him?

“We’ll wait and see” he said. And I, well I agree.

At 19, I stand before the world. Still finding my place in the face of Earth, though it may seem impossible to consider, I strongly believe that I have grown up to be a fine young lady who is not careless about what she wants. I might seem like the all time looser or bore that everyone deride or have never considered of befriending, nevertheless, I will always try my very best to work as hard as I can to achieve what I want.

The future is unclear, as it has always been. So why say you KNOW when you actually don’t. Well at least I KNOW that no matter what the future holds, I will always strive to pursue my happiness. Right now, that happiness is him. Yes, I might not know for sure but we’ll just wait and see.

Dear UNO, I reckon I should not say much more, only ILY and that’s all I really know.
Dear world, I share because I ain’t afraid to show how I feel. That’s all. :)

`fimaaa

❤ imperfectly written at 5:10 PM

Monday, April 20, 2009

:) NO Triumph
current mood: Frosty

MBF and I had a good Sunday the 19th where, on a monthly basis, we tend to meet and have an exceptional good time together. Maybe its tradition or maybe its just a day we look forward to. Either ways, I had an implausible 19th .

The one discontent we had from our 19th was upon reaching home and spending hours later watching THEM on the field. I was hoping that THEY will have glory triumph upon them and marching straight up into the finals for the FA cup. Apparently, THEY have other ideas and are doing well disappointing their fans this season, when last season, it was the contrary. It was the most horrendous game and the penalty shots out was by far the most disappointing. Maybe it’s the new found confidence that they have that led them to be complacent in the game, when they should not. Another disappointing game, I reckon. Dyam United, grant my wish sometimes.

Dear UNO, you’ve been an angel in this love story. Every moment is incredible when I am with you. I know I am lucky to have this blessed upon me. Thank you for another 19th. You and I both know, it’s MORE we want. ILY many.
Dear World, I hope your 19th was as exceptional as mine. :)

`fimaaa

❤ imperfectly written at 4:11 PM

Thursday, April 16, 2009

:) All that Matters
current mood: fresh

Before the journey begun with him, the moments were all that mattered. I had what I wanted right there, right then. Great friends, fantastic family and the perfect schedule to keep me occupied. I was filled, contented and pleased.

Amidst the fog, we met. Back to back, we started setting sail. Fearless, we felt like we could conquer the world. It’s amazing how the journey changes its course and how we were both set on embarking towards a common goal.

At 24 and 19, we are acting like children playing their toy cars and dollhouse. We set ourselves ambitions that need to be achieved and goals that need to be scored. We talked about nothing but the next moment, planning our step whilst the decisions we made were revolving around our common destination. It became all that matters.

Maybe, just maybe, this is the happiest I’ve felt after so long.

I’ve learnt things in this journey that I believe only life can teach.
There are people in your life, where you were born to love. They stick by you no matter what happens. Their biggest sins you forgive, because your ties remain opaque.
Then there are others, who you were destined to love. They started out as strangers, and soon, when they’ve touched the right nerves, they become your life. As far as I believe, my love for MBF was destined. What remains, is up to HIM.

Dear UNO, it’s amazing how you prove your love overtime. Yes, I stand behind you chanting that it’s our new chapter, our new life. And WE are all that matter. :)
Dear world, there are many people I love, many ambitions I’ve created, but nothing now stands stronger that what I want. I am listening to my heart, and that, brings me to places that you can’t imagine. You want to know what matters most. It’s OUR future, MBF and me. Insha’Allah

`fimaaa

❤ imperfectly written at 3:10 PM

Friday, April 3, 2009

:) My Ugly MRT rides
current mood: short-lived-happiness

At 19 years of age, I reckon that I have had my most decent share of the ugliest MRT rides in Singapore.

On and about 7.45 AM last week, I was in the train that was headed to Jurong East. The train was packed with people who left their minds on their bed, only dragging their bodies with purposes of going to work, school and God knows where. I was standing by the door, cramped at the edge that I could feel the twitching muscle of the lady in front. Train rides in the morning is bad enough with the crowd pushing and shoving, still you or rather I have to endure the blissfully painful odor of that person who just fails to put on deodorant or perfume. I have no problems with the people who refuse to shower in the morning, but does it really hurt to roll on a nice scent before leaving your home?

The story then goes on; a young man was in the way of an older man. This led the older man rambling to the young man. Soon, they started debating. In a dialect that I could never understand, they were shouting to each other that the young man felt so provoked and pushed the older man out to the platform as older man was alighting. It did not stop there, the younger man then stepped out of the train to confront his now arch enemy. This sent my nerves to the brain and for once, I was wide awake. I was in the train, with only intentions to stop the fight but forgive me, I did not. Outside the train, on the platform of the station, the older man flung his tight writs across the face of the younger man. Only seconds had passed, the 2 men were now hitting each other on the faces, throwing unpleasant words and remarks to each other. The site was awful; it was a dispute over a silly matter and what made it worse, the young man wan about 25 and the older was about 65. Pretty ugly uh?

Then again, ugly does not even begin describing Singaporeans. Many of us, me included, fail to observe the simplest act of courtesy or kindness. We instill in our children, the younger generations, how important it is to rush to that one particular transport whilst pushing and shoving our way in despite the safety of anyone.

Here’s another story I’d love to share, about a woman with 2 children holding both on each sides of her hand. As the train was crowded with no space to spare, she pushed and shoved her way into the cabin with her children in her hands. She was in the cabin and realized that her son as he was still stuck in the crowd. This woman began pulling her son’s hand, out of no where the son appeared. Like mother, like son, you’ll see him shove his way to the crowd. It was only seconds before the door closes; the worried mother pulled the hand of her little boy. The crowd pushed him, his mother pulled him, he shoved his way in and moments later, his leg was stuck between the platform and the train. Passengers around him helped him up, just milliseconds before the door closes, he was up. This ungrateful child went in the cabin and he pushed the man that assisted him. I could only thank god that I saw nothing gruesome. But the next thing I knew I was infuriated. This mother and child then pushed their way in and DEMANDED for a seat. Ugly, guess so?

I have come to loath leaving the train at stations where Singaporeans fail to exercise the importance of ALLOWING US, passengers in the cabin, TO ALIGHT. “Give way to alighting passengers” – NOT. I found myself having to use foul language (after of course using the polite terms of “EXCUSE ME / PARDON ME” that again many Singaporeans fail understand) before I was out of the train.

Trust me I could go on longer ranting about this; but I reckon I head back to the dull life of mine. I always have MBF to rant too. He shares the same joy of ranting about public transport with me. Well, I rant, he listens. He reckons we, or rather I post complains and write to forums.

Dear UNO, how bout posting this at the forum? :)
Dear world, how bout exercising some form of courtesy the next time you’re out?

`fimaaa

❤ imperfectly written at 5:36 PM